Active Listening and Empathy: Keys to Truly Supporting Loved Ones

Don’t Make the Mistake of Assuming You Know What Someone Is Feeling

It's a common misconception that outward appearances accurately reflect inner feelings. We often judge others based on what we see, but what we see on the surface doesn’t always reflect what’s actually going on. I learned this the hard way when my parents were recently in a serious car accident. I spent a couple of weeks taking care of them, and it was strange to hear what people, including my dad, were saying about me. They all said I was fine and handling everything well because apparently, I didn’t seem upset enough.

In reality, I had barely slept in those two weeks. The thought that the car accident could have killed my parents was crushing me. I was having panic attacks and was more terrified than I had ever been before. I didn’t show any of this to my parents because I didn’t want to make them worry about me when they were the ones in the hospital. This experience made me realize how important it is to understand that people may not always show their true emotions and the need for empathy and support.

The Discrepancy Between Appearance and Reality

People often judge others based on what they see on the surface. It’s easy to assume that someone who appears calm and collected is doing fine, but many individuals hide their true feelings to protect others or to cope with their own stress. For instance, someone dealing with workplace stress might put on a brave face to avoid burdening their colleagues, or a person who has experienced a personal loss might smile and engage in social activities to avoid making others uncomfortable.

In my case, I was managing and taking care of things because that’s how I cope. That’s me trying to survive. Just because I was functioning didn’t mean I was okay. This discrepancy between appearance and reality is something we need to be more aware of.

The Impact of Assuming Emotions

Assumptions about someone’s emotional state can lead to misunderstandings and strained relationships. When people assumed I was fine, it felt like my fear and anxiety were being dismissed. This lack of visible distress led to incorrect assumptions, and as a result, I missed out on the support I desperately needed. It’s crucial to recognize that just because someone isn’t visibly upset doesn’t mean they aren’t struggling internally.

How to Offer Genuine Support

So, how can we offer genuine support to those who might be hiding their true feelings? First, practice active listening. Ask open-ended questions to understand how someone is truly feeling. Instead of assuming, take the time to listen and show that you care. Second, maintain a non-judgmental attitude. Don’t judge others based on their outward behavior. Understand that everyone copes differently, and what you see might not be the whole story.

Finally, provide practical help. Check in regularly and offer specific forms of assistance. Whether it’s running errands, providing a listening ear, or simply being there, your support can make a significant difference.

Wrapping Up: Understanding and Supporting Each Other

In summary, it’s essential to recognize that outward appearances can be deceiving. People may not always show their true emotions, and assuming they are fine can lead to misunderstandings and a lack of support. By practicing active listening, maintaining a non-judgmental attitude, and offering practical help, we can provide the empathy and support that others need.

Let’s be more empathetic and avoid making assumptions about others' emotional states. Understanding and supporting each other through difficult times is crucial. Remember, just because someone is functioning doesn’t mean they are okay. Let’s strive to be there for each other, truly and wholeheartedly.