Navigating Generational Gaps: When Mom's Advice Feels Outdated

Crazy Shit Moms Say: Navigating Generational Differences

"You better watch those other women, they might take your man." This was my mom's advice when I told her about a recent BBQ my husband and I attended. It's not the first time she's said something like this, and it probably won't be the last. This got me thinking about the generational differences that shape our conversations and the crazy things moms say.

Growing up, my mom had to fight for everything she had. She grew up in scarcity, didn't receive the love she deserved, and had to navigate a world that was often unkind to her. In contrast, I grew up abundant in love and resources. These different experiences have shaped our worldviews in ways that sometimes clash spectacularly.

Overprotective Advice

When my mom warned me about other women at the BBQ, it wasn't just about the event itself. It was a reflection of her underlying fears and insecurities. She grew up in a time and place where women often had to guard their relationships fiercely. Her advice, while outdated, comes from a place of wanting to protect me from potential heartbreak.

But here's the thing: I don't agree with her mindset. If my man is so easily taken, then I don't want him anyway. I believe that if someone wants to leave, you can't really stop them. And why would you want to? Would you really want to be with someone who was only staying with you because you made them? This generational difference in our views on relationships is stark, but it's also a reminder of how our past experiences shape our present beliefs.

Misconceptions and Outdated Beliefs

Another classic example of generational differences is the time I got a part-time job as a receptionist at a spa. On my second day, my dad called, and since I was at work, I couldn't answer. When I called him back, I told him about my new job, and the shit hit the fan. My mom was shrieking about how my reputation was going to be ruined, and my dad ordered me to quit immediately. They equated working at a spa with being a prostitute. Seriously, WTF?

This reaction was rooted in their cultural and generational context. In Korea, where they grew up, spas might have a different connotation. But this wasn't Korea, and this wasn't that kind of spa. All I did was answer the phone and make appointments. It was a female-run business with female clients, offering services like facials, waxing, and massages. Yet, my parents couldn't see past their outdated beliefs.

Communication Breakdown

The aftermath of the spa story was just as frustrating. My mom hung up on me, and when I called back, my dad doubled down on his orders. They refused to admit that their beliefs were outdated and culturally inappropriate. It made me feel like I was 10 years old again, being scolded for something I didn't understand.

My brother later told me that I should have asked him whether I should tell our parents about the spa job. The whole situation highlighted a significant communication breakdown. Emotional reactions and a lack of open dialogue can escalate misunderstandings, especially when dealing with generational and cultural gaps.

Wrapping Up: Navigating Generational Differences

Navigating these generational differences isn't easy. It requires understanding, empathy, and a willingness to bridge the communication gap. While my mom's advice and my parents' reactions can be frustrating, they come from a place of love and concern. Recognizing this helps me approach these conversations with more patience and less frustration.

So, the next time your mom says something that makes you want to pull your hair out, take a step back. Consider the generational and cultural context that shapes her beliefs. And remember, while these conversations can be challenging, they often come from a place of love. After all, dealing with "crazy shit moms say" is a universal experience that connects us all.